On Parenting

Life Lesson #1 Trust

By the time she is just 14 months old, I have already planned and made countless revisions of who my daughter would be and what it is that I want to teach her How to read a book and how to ride a bicycle. To be strong and independent, to know that her mom and dad, no matter how bad the inevitable mess ups are, that we are always here for her and will always love her. I look at her today and see how much she is taking in from her surroundings. Everyday she is growing and learning so much, becoming the person she is. I already cannot imagine my life without her, missing her when we are apart. I am reinvented as person, I am Sienna’s mommy and love every minute that it encompasses. Every laugh and every cry…every waking moment.
As my visions of her are ever-changing, so are her needs. It is so easy to beat yourself up as a new parent, hoping you are giving enough attention and love without smothering. How do you know that you are teaching her to love and to trust? It was during a trip to the beach one afternoon that she let me know she was getting what she needed.
I watch as she bravely marches towards the waters edge, her ten tiny toes planted in the sand waiting as the waves come barreling across the shoreline. The water comes closer, she giggles, turns around and runs the other way, her little legs barely keeping up. Occasionally she interrupts the game to look up for me for reassurance, her eyes meeting mine, she knows I am still there and she continues with her back towards me. Later, we walk along the beach and collect seashells. She holds onto her bucket as I pickup the shells, handing them over to her so she can put them into the bucket. As we continue across the uneven beach, she reaches up to me, without looking back, knowing that I am there to hold her hand when she is unsteady and unsure. I realize at that moment that I am already teaching her everything she needs to know. To trust herself, I let her go on her own until she feels unsure. I do not swoop her up but merely be present, responding to her queues. In turn, she learns to trust me, knowing that I will be there ready to hold her hand when she needs.